The Evil Escapades of Sarah and Kaelynn 2
by Remission
Summary: Oh, the fun!


After several repeats of the incantation, we gave up.

Sarah sighed, "Well, that was bullshit…I think we should've gone to another site…"

"Nah," I began. "I still think our symbol is too shitty."

Just as Sarah began to say something, she was interrupted by an earthquake that shook the ground under us.

"Shit!!" I exclaimed.

The whole symbol started to glow an eerie red. Cracks formed on the floor, oozing a heavy fog that reeked of sulfur.

Sarah and I climbed up on the table in the corner as the earth separated.

"Holy fuck! It's working!!!" I exclaimed. Sarah looked at me with the expression of fear and excitement.

From the ground, an echoing, deep roar deafened us….

"WHAT…THE……FFFUUUUCCCKKKK?!!??!?!?!"

The concrete shattered as the large figure burst from the ground; fragments of concrete and pelted the surrounding walls and blinded us with a cloud of dirt. Sarah and I shielded our faces from the explosion.

"FUCK! ASS!!!" Another roar that shattered our ear drums.

The dust cloud cleared. We moved out hands away from our faces-to reveal a built, dark, seven foot tall man with the lower body of a hoofed animal of some sort.

"MY FUCKING HEAD! IT'S STUCK!!" It yelled.

Happening to notice that Satan's head was stuck on the nails protruding out of the ceiling, Sarah and I busted into maniacal laughter-almost falling off the unstable table.

After a few moments of struggling, Satan finally managed to get his head unstuck. As he lowered his head, Sarah and I stopped laughing and switched to a straight face.

"The fuck is so funny!?" Satan roared.

We both sunk back into the wall behind us. "Nothing…"

The large beast man turned and looked at the ground whilst rubbing the puncture holes on the top of his head. The circle around the Baphomet symbol was unscathed, while the middle was blown all over the basement. He must've noticed how horribly the circle was drawn; by the look of disgust in his face.

"The Hell is this?" He scoffed, "Luckily I didn't come out all deformed or some shit."

Sarah and I looked at each other, trying to hold back the laughter that almost popped our lungs.

"And your incantation sounded as if you got that Bible handwritten by a dabbler and sold in a second-hand store."

"Actually,' Sarah started, "We looked that up on……Google."

"GOOGLE?!" What the fuck is a Google?!" Satan exclaimed questioningly.

"Sarah, just stop." I said, putting my hand up to my head.

"No! He's fuckin' Satan! He should know what Google is!!!"

"Your determination is gonna kill you one day, y'know?" I sighed, shaking my head.

"Fuck it!!" Satan yelled, "I don't even know why I'm here! All I wanted to do is enjoy my day off, eat Ben & Jerry's ice cream while watching my favorite Soap Operas! But NO!! Now I don't even know what the fuck a Google is, and now I have to find out, because-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DOWN THERE!!!"

The angry bark sent a shiver down our spines. An eerie silence fell over us.

"…Shit, you just pissed off Scott!" Sarah said in a suspenseful manner.

Satan had a questioning look on his face, "Who's Scott?"

"My dad," I answered.

I hopped down from the table and ran to the stairs.

"Sorry, dad!!" I yelled from the bottom of the stairs, hoping he'd hear me.

No answer but the movie blaring in the T.V room.

Then, his audible footsteps trailed to the basement door.

Dad poked his head in the door, "What?" He called down the steep steps.

"Just sayin' sorry, that's all."

"Oh, that's okay…what the fuck is that smell? Who died in the bathroom?!" My dad waved away the invisible sulfur smell in the air with his hand.

"That was Satan!!" Sarah yelled, laughing.

Satan stood quiet with a grim look pasted on his face.

"Satan? Stop fucking around guys!" My dad laughed, still at the top of the stairs.

"No seriously." I added.

Dad ignored my ridiculous-sounding comment, pulling a pack of Marlboro's and a lighter from his pocket.

"You guys wanna come up here? Dairy Queen is gonna close soon." Dad jingled the car keys in his pocket.

"Hold on," Sarah called, "We have to clean up this mess."

Dad began to slowly descend the stairs. "How big of a mess did you guys make?"

"Oh, shit." I whispered to myself. I glanced at Sarah. She looked horrified. Satan was frantically searching for a place to hide.

He took one step at a time, successfully lighting his cigarette before he reached the middle of the staircase. He paused to pocket his cigarettes and lighter.

"I can already tell you guys made a mess." He said, spotting the pieces of the candles scattered across the floor.

Each and every step he took was like a knife stabbing deeper into my chest.

Satan found his hiding spot-in the crawlspace.

Sarah looked like a deer in headlights, struggling to carry the small pieces of cement and dump them into a bin-quietly.

"Fuckin' spider webs!!" Satan spat.

Dad was almost at the base of the steps-but he paused as he heard his lighter drop on the floor.

"Dammit." He mumbled, bending down to pick it up.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck!!!" Sarah panicked as she noticed he was about to turn the corner.

Time slowed.

He finally walked out in front of the destroyed room….


End file.
